why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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