Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
