I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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