I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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