I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
