I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
