Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
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You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
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But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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