She announced her abortion via fbk
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
