Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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