I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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