All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
