I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
