But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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