dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
