You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
