FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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