There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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