You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
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