I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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