What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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