the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Text me some of your sweat
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
