Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just want to make out with him forever
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
