Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
