I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
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