she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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