His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
