The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
