My room smells like vodka and shame
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
