ugly people sure do ruin things
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
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In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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