belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation