he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
the day after is always just damage control
Life is so much better after having sex.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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