please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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