idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
