I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
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I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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