So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
