Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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