And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
