I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You had me at "let me see your balls"
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
