So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
