I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
