Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
