So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
