I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
