Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
3pm strippers are depressing
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
