come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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