You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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