I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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