Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My boob is missing a layer of skin
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
