At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
this is an emotional support booty call
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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