some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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