You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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