What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
