5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
