he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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