Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
