Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
