you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
