Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
