She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
